DINNER AT THE CASTELLANOS.
This week TMP was all about kinfolk, upheavals, bombshells and a blonde Annette (Rhea Perlman) nailing the Castellano men's stugots to the crucifix. I didn't know what "stugots" were when I watched the epi, so that joke went right over my head till I, of course, Googled it. I couldn't stop laughing after that, I still am. Oh, that Annette.
This episode's title alone just tells you to expect some drama, and it didn't disappoint. From the very beginning where Mindy(Mindy Kaling) tries really hard to deny she's pregnant.. She takes thirty pregnancy tests. Thirty. And one popsicle stick she wrote a negative sign on and peed on. They all come out positive though. I was wondering why she was still testing her urine, after 10 tests, expecting different results. Then again, it's Mindy Lahiri; queen of insanity. Denial notwithstanding, Mindy eventually acknowledges that a baby, ( a Castellano baby!) is growing inside her.
The next thing now is to tell Danny(Chris Messina). As is pretty much always the case, the right time to tell Danny just doesn't happen. Or maybe Mindy’s just chicken. Anyway, she decides to fly out to
tell him in person, again and arrives in New York, determined to sneak of somewhere with Danny and tell him. and finds Danny’s dad, Alan (Dan
Hedaya) and Danny’s little sister, Little Danny (Madison Moellers) at Danny’s. The second half of the Castallanos are in New York because the youngest one keeps on getting into trouble at school. "I slapped my stupid teacher in her stupid face" she announces indifferently. So Alan, very responsible dad that he is, has brought his last born to his eldest son, who's never been a father before(okay, so he was more or less Ritchie's father figure, but it still doesn't count). So Danny decides he can't go away with Mindy, not now.
Mindy isn't happy with this but even she acknowledges that family comes first., and even finds a silver lining in that cloud: " It's just as well, we wouldn't want another forest fire"
Maybe it’s coincidence, maybe it’s not, but it is like Annette can sense her ex-husband’s presence in New York. She calls Mindy about Mindy and
Danny’s getaway. Mindy, who admittedly is horrible at keeping secrets, blurts out to
Annette Alan is in town. Annette claims to be totally unperturbed. To show just how much she’s moved on
and everything with Alan is water under the bridge and blah,blah,blah, she invites
them all to dinner. I don't Danny is livid and genuinely terrified. “Why don’t you
invite a lion?” he asks Mindy “ there’ll be less carnage”. Then he does
something that makes Mindy rub her stomach for the first time since the news of
her pregnancy. It is a vulnerable moment,
and also extremely adorable. Danny tells Mindy to stay away from the
dinner, this is something only family should have to see; the mayhem will be
that bad.
Mindy is wounded that Danny does not think of her
as family and when he leaves, she does that adorable, forlorn thing. I'm thinking this is when it hit hits her that she really is pregnant, and the child’s father pretty much just announced he didn't consider her part of his family. I must
say that this was not Dr. C's finest hour, or twenty-two minutes,. He does make it up , though, at the end. Danny wasn't too sensitive with
Mindy this week; I wonder how he would have handled her if he'd known she's carrying his precious cargo. ANyway, Min wants to go this the dinner so bad and it takes a mere prodding from Peter( Adam Pally)to make her decide to crash the
dinner. So she goes chasing after Danny’s car in the street. Of course, he almost hits
her, and screams” what are you doing? You can’t run in the streets! This isn’t
Calcutta!”
The Castellano dinner itself is a drama galore. I say it's earned the right this epi's title. Mindy, Alan, Little
Danny and a very jittery Big Danny arrive at Annette’s who has transformed into a miraculous, breathless blonde, cooing like Marilyn Monroe. In pure blondie spirit, she pretends not to recognize Alan." Oh I'm sorry, sir, the soup kitchen is down the street." " Annette, it's me, Alan, your ex." You would have to have some kind of serious memory issues not to recognize your ex-husband of more than ten years and father of your children. Then again, it's Annette. Anything is possible. The entire scene makes for an extremely comical set up for the dinner drama which jumps off
almost immediately with Dot (Jenny O’Hara) cussing Alan out, Mindy having to
prove herself by killing some eels, Annette introducing her new beau Dr Robert
Ledreau (Fred Grandy) to Alan, who refuses the
champagne Dr. Ledreau offers to him. “I don’t drink anymore; I’m six weeks
sober. I only drink beer”
Mindy walks in on Danny and Alan's plans to allow Little Danny to stay in New York. Now Mindy is really pissed and calls the
teenager out, revealing that there is nothing wrong with Little Danny; she’s
pretending to have behavioral problems because she wants something. Mindy
declares she is extremely knowledge about this kind of deception. She invented
it. Little Danny breaks and confesses,
proving Mindy right. Mindy’s moment of triumph is short-lived, though. Little
Danny give Mindy a stupid slap, probably one similar she gave her stupid teacher. Mindy, of course,
retaliates. The drama goes on.
Danny jumps to his sister’s defense and all but
throws Mindy out, making that statement about family again. She does that cute,
sad thing with her stomach again and walks into the night.
When Annette discovers the arrangement between
Alan and Danny, she is incredulous that these two men planned something so
preposterous and Little Danny was the one who got slapped. Indignant, she runs
out after Mindy, has a deep and revealing conversation with Mindy which ends
with “ Listen, I got to nail some stugots to the cross and I don’t want my
grandson to see this. I’m going to be a grandma!” I wanna say I think Mindy and Annette got to another level in their relationship, and that's how it should be. Mindy is going to be the next Mrs. Castellano. Oh, that's cute.
Annette heads back inside and removes her wig and pistol-whips Alan with it, then breaks the news to Danny, whose reaction shot was
priceless. Director David Rogers, you did an incredible job. Chris Messina’s
dazed eyes captured just how dumbfounded he was. I started liking him again. He
bolts off in search of his beloved and his new baby and has a pretty tough time
finding her. I love this twist in the tale. Danny was definitely lacking in
tenderness most of this episode and when he can’t find Mindy, it’s his turn to
be totally vulnerable. A couple of apple pie wrappers give him the clue as to
where Mindy might be, and sure enough, he finds her asleep next to the vending
machine at the Saint Brendan Hospital doctors’ lounge, the only place in all of New York where you
can find those apple pies Mindy has been craving like crazy.
Danny wakes her up and they finally have the talk.
“We are a family” he realizes. It’s
altogether a tissue-grabbing moment. I particularly appreciate how this whole
dynamic was tied up. It was effective and did a great job of moving us to the
next level in this couple’s story.
I guess the topic was such a huge milestone in that it dominated the
entire episode. Even the B and C stories still centered on the Castellanos and
the only airtime anyone else received was with good old Morgan (Ike Barinholtz)
and his cheerfully clueless foot-in- mouth scene and he made the best of it.
Morgan spoke words to Danny’s father that were so squirm-worthy that even Mindy
couldn’t take it and had to stop him.
We didn’t get to see Tamra, Beth( thank God) or
Jeremy. We did get a bonus; Peter (Adam Pally) was in this episode for all of
thirty seconds, but that was enough.
So, Dinner At
The Castellanos turned out to be We are Family After All. I’m just glad it
didn’t up being The Castellano Funeral Episode.
